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ddd
h_f_l
Nothing says I hate you like a love letter lit on fire
Nothing says you disgust me like a slit in your tires.
You turned my smile upside-down you treat my trust like it doesn't matter
You've done this to hurt me, to make my heart shatter.
You've made me stronger than I've ever been and I thank you.
The thoughts of what you said or what you didn't do,
It doesn't matter now the past happened I can forget now.
When I look at myself, I can finally smile now.

You took that first step towards me and pressed your lips against mine
took my hand and wrapped it around your neck while you looked deeply in my eyes.
We stood around the edge of the water waiting in silence
You were my first kiss, I became shy and embarrassed.
I took a step back and slowly my hand drifted from yours while I walked away.
As you followed me you ran in front, caught your breath and gently touched my face.
You kissed me again, as I told you to stop, you whispered ok.
We parted that night as we went our separate ways.
We crossed paths yet again, phone numbers exchanged.
We called each other every night and meetings we arranged.
It was late into the night, You stood there beneath the light.
I came closer to you, kissed you, I knew this was the night.
You laid me down onto the ground and asked if it was alright.
I pulled you closer, everything became intense, the passion we couldn't fight.
A year had passed, You told me that you loved me I felt amazingly blissful.
I felt this fear forming beneath my skin and then I felt sinful.
I felt as if this love I felt was going to hurt me in the end.
I shut myself off and never said I loved you again.
The year was closing in and soon I found out something I knew you'd dread.
I told you once and I haven't seen you since.

night
h_f_l
night.
Thats wut its all about
night life till the lights are out
dancin when those beats drops
livin it up till the music stops
drinkin it down partyin w/ my girls
heels in my hand hair in a twirl
no intentions it's a different dimension
Nothin to say nothin to mention.

dreams
h_f_l
dream? more like nightmare.
Had the most interesting dream last night. One that I hope to never have again. He came back in my life, different yet still the same I had changed to and as much as we were different we knew who we were to eachother. It was unspeakable to say the least, but I hated him and to deeply I didn't want to talk with him. He hurt me to much and broke my heart. We fought until we rushed out of the building. I don't know why but I think at one point I forgave him and fell for his bullshit...again but this time it seemes genuine. I don't know. It's true what they say you know...you never forget your first love but it's not only that, he is the father of my child and I see him every so often when she smiles, she has his smile.

back
h_f_l
Reminisce......
Current mood: confident
The memories made back when we were young and thoughtless.
Nothing crossed our minds nothing mattered, it was just us.
The laughs, the smiles and words that had been said
they come and go every once in awhile in the back of my head.
anger spreads yet again like wildfire,
it fades in and out till i forget again what had transpired.
I'm done with the past yet it will still always linger in the air
your smile carries each time she does, each time makes you stare.
Fortune and love is where I am now, better than I've ever been
Moved on in my life and forgave those who've held me back
You, were where my life had stopped. You were my greatest sin.
I forgave myself for the mistakes I'd made but at the most random times I get reminded of my past.