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Mother's Day
Tearful and saddened. I can only recall one mother's day with her. Now known as Renee'. I am tearful at what has been going on my entire life of my lack of relationship with Renee' and I am saddened that, not that she, or her as a person is not in my life. It's the thought of a "mother" period. I have not had one of those. Sure they may have slapped her with the title as a form of saying here's the baby you adopted you are now a "mother." Overtime and since I had my daughter (who will be turning three in July) I have realized that it is not just a word when you have a child but it's a name, a title, a meaning, and something you earn from mothering and being that beautiful person in general for your children. Mothers have a strength and love that can overcome all obstacles and can see through the hard things, the heartbreaking in order to do whatever they can for their child. When it comes to people you love and especially your children everything you do is for them, it's selfless. My dad is my mom today, last year and everyday since I was born and I am okay with that. The last time me and Renee' parted ways it was my idea to just tell her I couldn't do it anymore and that she had done this enough times that I was done. We got back on speaking terms June of 09'.  We stopped talking probably March or Early April of 10'.  She has had problems with her health. That was one of the reasons why I decided to call and patch things up with her and then there was giving her an opportunity to be in my daughter's life. She had surgery, a week prior to that event we had an argument where we both said hurtful things. The day after her surgery I texted her letting her know that I was hoping her surgery went okay. I got no response. We finally talked via text a couple to a few weeks after. I told her yet again that I hoped everything went fine. She gave me two worded answers and many hurtful things with words such as "user,selfish,disappointment" I was trying to be the bigger person. Without me saying anything Renee' responds to something I said "Fine Sarah, you get your wish, I'm out of your life."

This is not a sad day but a day for that people that do love me and whom I love and charish also.
There may be things that I am saddened or tearful by but I'm stronger and will continue to be strong.